New state rules
1. The First Minister will never apologise or admit to being wrong ever;
2. No SNP minister will ever be criticised either in office and for 30 years after leaving office;
Advertisement
Hide AdAdvertisement
Hide Ad3. If the Cabinet secretary for health and wellbeing says that all doctors and nurses working in Scotland are totally dedicated all the time and that no patient is ever neglected in a Scottish NHS hospital then it is true;
4. Margaret Thatcher is recognised as the sole cause of alcoholism in Scotland;
5. No convicted terrorist will remain in prison for more than eight and a half years no matter how heinous their crime;
6. The Cabinet secretary for finance will remain locked in Queensberry House and is forbidden from answering questions on economics/finance;
7. Scottish youths are not allowed to visit London or travel to England until after their 32nd birthday;
8. From 2016 Nicola Sturgeon must appear in every photograph taken in Scotland.
Neil Sinclair
Clarence Street
Edinburgh