Interview: David Gray

Manchester-born singer and songwriter David Gray is back after a four-year break with his blend of folk, rock and computer-generated sounds. Touring with his eighth album, Draw the Line, Gray also has a new band. Finding fame with White Ladder, which he

Describe your perfect weekend

We have a little beach house in Norfolk and take the family up there with friends, take walks on the beach with Molly – our Border Terrier with the Roger Moore eyebrows – have a pint in the pub, sit in front of a real fire.

What makes you angry?

I'm impatient as a driver. I have road rage and when I'm watching football, a Tourette's-style torrent pours from my mouth until everyone leaves the room. I'm angry at the drop of a hat. I yell at the complete idiocy of the modern age. It affronts me, and I emit bellows of rage at it.

What would you do if you ruled the world?

Take draconian measures.

What one thing would improve your life?

The indefinite loan of a private jet. I have to go through f***king security, every f***ing day of my f***ing life. So tear down the rain forests and let me have a private jet! Every time they stop me I feel like saying 'I'm wearing f***ing ed suede Guccis, do you think I'd f*** with these by sticking a bomb in them!'

What's your guiltiest pleasure?

Watching very bad TV like New Tricks, it's like comfort food. Old actors and ludicrous plots.

When did you last feel sorry for yourself?

The suffering artist has gone for the foreseeable future.

What do you wish you'd never done?

Admitted to wearing legwarmers in the 1980s.

Would your mother be proud of you?

She is proud. But I think she finds me a very brusque person and she thinks I'm rude and dismissive and that she's some old fart.

Is she?

Well, she's getting there.

Who would you like to say sorry to?

Sorry, Mum. And sorry for forgetting her birthday too.

Who does the cleaning in your house?

I'm a natural tidier. I'm not a big fan of Ben Elton but he said something I agree with, that it's not along racial lines that the world divides, it's between the tidy and the untidy. Why do people take the milk out of the fridge and not put it back, leave the lid off; squeeze out toothpaste then not put the lid on; use something then leave their crap all over the place? My family incur my wrath if they do these things. I'm mildly on the autistic spectrum, I think. I need order in my world.

What's the most you've ever spent on a purchase, apart from a car or property?

It was a lot, on an expensive gold Rolex watch, a 1971 day/date customised one with an orange face and beautiful leather strap and some expensive jewellery for my wife. If it weren't for guilt, the jewellers would be out of business.

What are you guilty about?

Being away from home for about half of our 16-year marriage when my wife's at home dealing with the children.

What is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?

I played the University of Chicago and was waiting behind a curtain for the previous act to end. When I went on, the microphone was at half height so I said, 'Was there a little midget man playing here or something?' And there had been. He was standing at the side of the stage giving me daggers and there were boos and hisses from the audience. There was nothing I could do.

What song is the theme tune to your life?

Feeling Good by Nina Simone because that's the mood that I'm in.

Who would play you in the movie of your life?

Steve McQueen. He has the right haircut.

Should you vote? If yes, how did you vote?

I voted Labour in 1997 and Green subsequently. I'm disenamoured with the Labour Party but would vote tactically to stop the Tories. I think there should be some sort of proportional representation built into the political system.

What worries you in the wee small hours?

Work-related, lyrics or songs I need to get right. Then when I'm on tour, how best to do the lighting and things.

When were you last naked in front of another person?

This morning in front of my wife.

When did you lose your virginity?

I think I was just 15, with a girl who used to come on holiday down to Wales. Her name was Anna and she was a goer, a redhead.

Who is your fantasy date?

Julie Christie in the early 1970s – her Don't Look Now era.

Who was your favourite teacher and why?

The art teacher, Mr Barnsley. He was laid back, funny and would play strange records to us like Captain Beefheart, Carter Family and wacky stuff he'd bought in second-hand shops. He seemed to have a broader take on things that was lacking throughout most of my school, a small comp in west Wales. He'd seen a bit more of life and didn't buy into the narrow confines of Welsh educational thought. I loved art but I stopped after I left art college 20 years ago. I wouldn't do it as a hobby, it would have to be all the time.

What is your most treasured possession?

My father's ring. It's made out of two rings, one that belonged to his dad and one to his mother.

What do you remember better, your first car or first kiss?

Obviously it's not difficult to remember the car, a Citroen van, but my first kiss was more significant. It was with someone on holiday in the village who taught me the ropes and it was heavenly.

If you didn't have your current career, what would you do?

I'm unemployable after 20 years of doing my own thing. I don't respect authority. I have problems with airport security, for instance. I'd have to pick up the paintbrushes.

What do you think of celebrity?

It's useful to get into restaurants and for the odd free concert ticket. But I find the notion of the community of fame bizarre, that we can pick up the phone to other famous people. I don't have much to do with it.

What's next?

I'm looking forward to touring. I love Glasgow – I used to play the Halt Bar, in the West End, with my art school band before I got a record deal.